My regular readers know how I feel about dating experts. I don’t consider myself an expert and I think that most people who do (consider themselves experts) are full of shit. That’s not an insult to anyone specific. It’s just how I feel. I know there are a lot of “experts” who dish out advice and a lot of others who are seeking expertise who want that advice. May you find each other and fill each others needs and live happily ever after.
That being said, I am more than comfortable sharing things I’ve learned, like in my guest posts on TSBmag and midlifebachelor.com. I’m speaking from my hard-earned personal experience. Not anything I’ve read from a book or something I’m theorizing about. I’m 38. I’ve never been married. I started dating in my teens. You do the math. I’ve been on more dates than most of my readers. I’ve made lots of mistakes and like any smart person I’ve made sure I learned from them.
OK, here’s a sloppy segue for you: I’ve become very fond of Twitter in the last week. What a surprise that was. I assumed I’d hate it. But it’s actually a lot of fun, informative and sometimes even helpful.
A few days ago someone out there (how am I supposed to refer to someone on Twitter w/o a blog or website, a Twitterer? a Tweeter), insidethewoman, suggested this topic: The top 4 mistakes men make when approaching women. I think that’s how it was phrased. (see I’m back with the advice thing).
I answered her, without giving very much thought to my answer. It was off the cuff and silly. I can’t remember everything I said, but I’m sure that it was a mixture of things that were applicable to just me and things that could go for every man/woman and every situation.
One thing I am certain of is that the very first thing I listed was #1: don’t stare at the woman’s boobs.
Why, oh why, must I even put this in writing? Why are there still guys past the age of 12 who can’t seem to keep their eyes on the face of the woman they are speaking with?
Now don’t try to deny it guys. It happened to me just the other day. And we all know I don’t have huge ones. It’s not like they’re that hard to ignore.
Lesson #1 for any guy who is not successful with women, learn to speak to our faces. This goes with, learn to treat us like people. We are, actually, people. People with boobs.
I’m not going to continue on with the list here (I am pretty sure my other 4 included not bragging about material wealth because that is one of my personal pet peeves, can’t recall the others right now). The reality is that if you still don’t get that women are people, too, you are so far from being a competent dater then the other things on the list are meaningless to you.
Just stop staring at our boobs, start talking to our faces, remember that we have brains (just like you, usually smarter than you) and you’re on the right track.
Tags: advice, boobs, expert, Twitter