Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Some More About Me

People make all kinds of assumptions about one another out here in cyberspace. I’m pretty new to it all, and I find it all kind of bizarre and frightening.

I just started this a few months ago. Prior to that, I was aware of personal blogs and had read a few that friends kept, but I was not really aware of everything that was out here. All of my surfing to that point was on sites related to politics and current events and music (things that I am passionate about). I wasn’t on or or myspace. All of that kind of passed me by. Part of it was generational, I guess. Part had to do with my professional world. And part was just who I am, I would rather have face to face time with human beings than be online (or on the phone).

A couple of my friends had been at me for a while to write about my dating life, but they are like me, not into this whole blogosphere universe. They kept saying book and well, I have other big projects that I am working on. I wasn’t interested in doing a book on my dating life. One day I read something that led me to a personal/relationship blog and then to another and it all clicked. I started my blog.

So many things didn’t occur to me back then. Some of which I’ve written about (the importance of design, learning the ways of the internet). But the one that I find constantly amazes me is how people out here make so many assumptions about one another based on so little information.

My readers (except for the dozen or so people who know me in real life) know almost nothing about me. You know my age and that I currently live in . You know that I date a lot and some naughty details about my sexual history. And you know some of my likes and dislikes when it comes to men.

That’s it. Not much. The men who read my online profile learn more about me in the 3 minutes it takes them to read my profile, plus they get a few good headshots.

Yet based on that little bit of knowledge, I have people making all kinds of assumptions about who and what I am. I guess that’s the nature of the beast. It’s unnerving.

Anyway, I thought it might be useful to bridge a little of that gap. To give you all a little bit more info about me.

Today’s Magic Number is 3

  • I was not a pretty girl. I was a smart girl. And a smart ass. My best friend was the pretty girl. I was never going to be as pretty as she was and she was never going to be as smart as I was, so our roles were set. And then, in our teens, we busted out/split up. I became even more of a smart ass and started hanging out with the older kids. It turned out that when I met guys who didn’t know I was the smart girl, I could be pretty, too. Trouble ensued.
  • I haven’t lived in too many places other than NYC. My family is from the area and this will always feel like home. I lived in the UK briefly, and still have very good friends there. If I had to leave NYC, I would most likely go back to the UK as I can’t really think of anywhere else in the US that feels like home to me.
  • I spent most of my adult life doing jobs I am/was really proud of, trying to help people and making the world a better place.

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6 to “Some More About Me”

  1. cjw666 says:

    Hmm. I wouldn’t call myself particularly “street wise” on the Internet, but I’ve always known you take EVERYTHING you read out here with several large pinches of salt. However,rightly or wrongly, I’ve always assumed about you, right from the start, that you’re honest! I could be totally wrong – you could be a man – you could the next big axe murderer, for all I know, but I don’t think so somehow.

    That said, (assuming you are honest) you do let slip some details about your thoughts that gradually give insight into your personality – the attractive NYC smart-ass, self-confident girl about town that is strangely mixed with a degree of the nervous little girl inside that you mostly keep controlled and hidden. There’s other stuff too, but it’s all only snippets.

    In fact you’re (I think) exactly the sort of woman I instantly adore and who, at the same time scares the hell out of me :)

    That’s a very brief outline my take on you thus far. Okay, so I’m probably totally wrong, but that’s part of the fun of doing this blogging thing, isn’t it?

    Incidentally, I TOTALLY agree with you about the phone thing. I too HATE phones and the impersonal nature of coversations using them. You get the wrong idea about people just because they are bad at putting the audio “smilies” in the right place and, by the same token, you can give out the wrong signals yourself. Written – email, IM, text etc. is better because you can at least review what you write and think about how it reads before you click or press send. Trouble is you always realise “I didn’t mean that, that way” just after you do so. FACE to FACE though is the way. Apart from anything else, you can see instantly that you’ve said something the wrong way from the frown on the other’s face and you can correct it. You can also spot the wrong reaction you didn’t expect and think “Oh, oh! Watch out! This is not what it seems.”

    Life could of course be dangerous for you, but far less so than most people would have you believe and your best defence (apart from a karate black belt) is still your street wise gut instinct. Just be careful when the alarm bells tinkle somewhere in the background, eh – please!

    Superb blog! Keep it going please.

  2. Erica says:

    loving the honesty, keep it up!! :)

    check out mine if your interested:

  3. Infinity says:

    Hey, your honestly is something admirable and anyone who likes to judge by the snippets of the information they have about you without actually meeting you in person is not worth your time.

    You keep doing what your doing because it’s a great thing that you’re doing.

  4. SINgleGIRL says:

    -Thanks all. So hard to find the lines out here.

  5. Seth says:

    And when you’re 85 you’ll still be the hit of the party because while all the ‘pretty girls’ sit in their line of wheelchairs, You’ll still be smart, funny, and probably have a sweet walker. =)

  6. bobbyboy says:

    Well, the only thing I think I know about you is your honesty. It’s probably the main reason why I come back to read your stuff. Plus, I like you a little as a blog person. Excuse my language, but some bloggers are assholes!

    What you write seems very real and interests many people, as you can see. What else matters in cyberspace?

    If I don’t learn anything about you, other than what you allow me to know in this blog, I’m perfectly happy. You’re right, in real life or online, some people tend to dig a little more than one may be comfortable with-so be it.

    For the most part, I’m pretty open about who I am and have met numerous people in person from online, but that’s my choice. We all have choices and they are to be respected by others.