Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

1 of 3

This is the first of three posts I plan on writing tonight. All are quickies and this one is more of a jumble of ideas than a coherent post. Oh well, it is what it is.

The first comment left on my last post, I REALLY Hate the Thing, was left by someone suggesting that speaking with men over the before I meet them was not enough. His/her advice was to use a service to run background checks on potential dates.

I read that and thought, WOW. I know where this is coming from. It’s a scary world out there. There was just that case in Philadelphia of the guy who was raping women he met on Match.com. It’s hard to know who to trust or if you can trust anyone. I can understand why anyone might feel they needed to do a complete background check on someone they were going to go out with, but it’s not a feeling I share. Moreover, I don’t think meeting someone online is inherently more risky than meeting someone in a bar or anyplace else (in a class, volunteering, on a line to exchange gifts).

When it comes to trust, I choose to trust more rather than less. I am cautious, sure. I look for obvious red flags. But I like to believe that there are more good people on the planet than bad and if I spend too much energy worrying about the bad there’ll be no time to spend with the good.

I admit that I have not always asked as many questions of the men in my life, early on, as I should have. That’s led to some pretty big heartache. I need to work on this. See my next post for details on that.

Oh, and today’s is James, “One of the Three”.


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  1. bobbyboy says:

    This is the first of 3 comments I plan on giving on this topic tonight ;)

    I wrote a bit about the danger and meeting this a while ago and agree with you completely. I always say to those who are a bit too afraid of the online thing, “We are the online persons we are all talking about.”

    :)

  2. Miss Heather Leigh says:

    That’s a good way of looking at things, putting more importance on the good people of the world instead of the bad. I should be more like that, I get too paranoid. :/