Last night was my third date with Mr. Potential. We’d been exchanging texts and emails all week, but as of Thursday afternoon we had no plans for a third date.
I had no doubt that he liked me. He asked me to go out with him this past Monday, and I’d said no. I had other plans (the truth). It occurred to me on Thursday that maybe, since I’d turned him down he was afraid to ask again. I didn’t know if that made sense or not. I mean, I don’t really have a lot experience with the kind of guys who aren’t uber-confident. But it seemed plausible as a defensive stance, that as he’d been turned down once, didn’t want to be turned down again. So I sent him an email inviting him to come with me to the MoMA
(Museum of Modern Art).
I’m a MoMA member and well, it’s one of my favorite places in the city. It’s also a great 3rd or 4th date. I get in free and can bring someone for virtually nothing, so it lets me treat. More importantly, it puts guys in a position to let me see them in a different light.
A lot of guys don’t pass the MoMA test, and it is a test. Many try to show off and give mini talks about everything they learned in art history class, thinking they’ll impress me. Or they make snarky comments about how they can’t believe how some things are considered art and that they can make better paintings/sculpture.
The smart ones are unassuming, say what they like and are honest about what they don’t like. Mr. Potential was a smart one. He got an A+, in fact. We had a lot of fun at the museum together and then went out to dinner.
He then passed the second phase of the test by directing us towards a restaurant near my apartment
. It was subtle, but there was an unspoken, “let’s get closer to your place” vibe going on. Dinner was great, easy and mellow. The waiter made a mistake with our order and he didn’t act like a jerk about it.
And then after dinner he asked if I wanted to go for a drink, it was still early and he didn’t want the night to be over. And then it hit me, if I was going to bring him home with me it was time to make up my mind. We could go for a drink or I could invite him back to my place for a drink. It was so cold out and the clock in my head was beating loudly.
And I knew. I’m not ready to have him spend the night. I am totally ready to have sex with him, but not ready to have him spend the night. I like the guy
, but he’s still a contender. He doesn’t have the title, “boyfriend” yet. And, well, he’s not the kind a guy
you kick out of bed after fucking. He’s too nice
for that. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s never not stayed the night.
So I came up with a plan C and mentioned a great place a few blocks away that I wanted to take him for dessert. We spent another hour hanging out, talking, eating some amazing dessert and having drinks and then he walked me towards my apartment.
As we got closer I told him he could drop me on my corner. That it was too cold for him to walk me all the way down my block (I live on a very windy block). And so we kissed (good kiss, btw) on the corner for a while. It was so freaking cold. Eventually he said something about going back to my place. I was happy he said it, happy he made the move. I replied with a ‘not tonight’ and then we kissed some more and parted.
When he does come up, which I think will be soon, I want him to spend the night. And then that will mean something.