Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Quickie

I promise to write more later about all of this.

The bad dater has earned a new nickname. He is now Mr. Potential. He gave me a really sweet kiss at my stoop (that’s what we call the steps to our buildings here in the Big Apple) as we said goodnight on Sunday. He then followed that up with an concrete invitation via email for something last night (which I turned down, other plans) and then another sweet email last night. The ’s got definite potential.

In blogging news, I don’t know but I think I royally stepped in it. Whatever I write in this , it’s about ME. I am writing openly and as honestly as I feel comfortable doing about my personal thoughts and experiences. I think that there are a lot of women who are like me and a lot of women who aren’t. I know that my dating experiences as a 38 year old women in NYC are completely different than those of a younger woman in the midwest or in a different city/different country.

So when I say I like the men in my life to act and react a certain way, I think it’s kind of hysterical to hear back that my readers think it’s because, of course, ALL women are like that and we have a biological necessity to want certain things. I think that’s a load of crap. Seriously. We are animals. Sure. And biology plays a big role in our wants and desires in terms of sex and the like. But if all we were were animals then you could also assume that I would have a burning desire to reproduce (as a 38 yr old childless women) and am sizing up each guy I meet as a possible father for my future children. And well, that ain’t true.

I guess what I’m saying in this very stream of consciousness post because I have no time for this now way is that, please people, take this all with a grain of salt. I am one woman. My needs and wants are my own. I want what I want because of who I am – the sum of my biology and my experiences. I speak for no one but myself.

Oh, and I have some very interesting new guys on the horizon. Not that I’m not excited about the potential showed by the Freelancer and Mr. Potential but it’s nice to have lots of options.


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5 to “Quickie”


  1. Miss Heather Leigh says:

    It’s good to make that clear. I know what I meant by my last comment is that in the large scheme of things, you seem to really know what you want and who you are. I feel like some days I do, some days I don’t, and I’m constantly confused either way. Sometimes it’s like being a jumbled mess. You’re right though, what we all experience and want will be individually set based on our own lives.

  2. SINgleGIRL says:

    I’m with you, Miss Heather Leigh. As certain as I sound here, there are days when I have no idea what I want. That’s why it’s so important to me that no one infers that I’m speaking for ALL women.

  3. Sarah says:

    I agree with you wholeheartedly. To say that women go after stronger men because we are hard-wired to do so is total crap. If ALL women were that way, the quiet, passive type of man would never find a mate.
    Rock on, girl!

  4. cjw666 says:

    I hear what you’re all saying, but I don’t think any of us are quite as unpredictable as we’d like to think we are.

    Of course women are all different in the way they think and react, just as men are. Incidentally, it’s a joke that some men seem to find funny to say that women are all the same in the dark, but any man who actually believes that, not only doesn’t know anything about women, but doesn’t know much about sex either.

    That said, I know it’s a generality, but there is a tendency for women to be more likely to want one kind of man that they find exciting as a lover and a rather different type as a long term partner.

    It’s simple logic really anyway – I guess a super stud who really knows what he’s about is going to be great fun for sex, but not necessarily to be with all the time.

    Think about it: super stud, or soul mate, which would you want to live with? The two traits are not mutually exclusive, but they are much harder to find in the same person. The real trouble comes when you kid yourself (as many tend to do) that your stud is also your soul mate when, if you think about it, you know in your heart that he’s nothing of the sort.

    Naturally, men have exactly the same problem when it comes to what they want from a woman – i.e. dick and heart really don’t seem to communicate very well, most of the time ;)

  5. bobbyboy says:

    Way to go, more power to you! :)