Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.


A quick word on my meaning of successful.  Last night, as I was drifting off, I realized that I’ve used that word to describe a lot of the guys I go out with. When I say a is successful, I’m not talking about .

Sure, over the years, I’ve dated some guys who were well off (and a couple who were better than well off).  But that was just random and irrelevant to me.  I didn’t like them any better because of their wealth.  In fact, in one case it got in the way because I didn’t feel comfortable bringing the guy to my apartment, ever.  And in general, he and I didn’t have as relaxed a relationship as I normally do with men, because he always wanted to go out to restaurants. We could never just chill out at the neighborhood places.
The point it, this is and there are guys here with money and it’s actually hard to not bump into them.  I don’t, however, go looking for them.
I’d have guessed you figured that out by now if you’re a regular reader, but I wanted to spell it out.
When I say a guy is successful I mean that he has a job he likes and is satisfied with his life.  He might still have unfulfilled aspirations, maybe a book he’s writing in his spare time or he’s an actor with a day job who’s still hoping for his big break.  But as far as I’m concerned that’s all good.  As long as he doesn’t wake up every day hating his life.
That’s all it really takes to be successful in my book. Paying your bills, having balance, being happy.  That’s no small thing, btw.

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6 to “Successful?”

  1. bobbyboy says:

    That’s all it really takes to be successful in my book. Paying your bills, having balance, being happy. That’s no small thing, btw.

    Agreed! Successful is a relative meaning, as is. Most times, it doesn’t have much to do with wealth because it’s tied into happiness.

  2. cjw666 says:

    Of course you’re right. The fact is though that, a guy enjoying his work is often doing so because he’s good at it and that makes him successful (in the terms you describe). In the right place at the right time (and the right place can often be NYC) that is quite likely to make him a few bucks, almost by accident.

  3. lisaq says:

    I think you and I have the same definition of successful girl! And I hear you about wealth sometimes getting in the way. That happened to some extent with the last guy I was seeing. His house was incredible and I always felt like I was inviting him to ghetto when he came to my place. Uncomfortable.

  4. Infinity says:

    Such a thing as being successful is too hard to ignore.

  5. Miss Heather Leigh says:

    I like your definition of successful. I always thought as someone who is successful as a great, well paying job. Maybe I’ll have to change my way of seeing it! :)

  6. zandria says:

    I feel the same way. I think men who love their jobs and work hard are SO sexy…they don’t have to be making the big bucks.