Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Dysfunction Junction

Wow.  Just wow.  Last night I sat down to write about good daters. And I did, just not as coherently as I would’ve hoped.  Somewhere in there I took a major tangent (or two).  I guess I had a lot on my mind and wasn’t really all that focused while I was posting.

Well I went there and so I might as well go there.  As much as I think and analyze and yeah, I’ll admit it, obsess over each and every and try to figure out guys and who I should allocate time to and who I should give up on and why men behave the way they do, I also spend more time than I should thinking about my past behavior.  And, yeah, some of that past behavior has been pretty pathetic.  
Let me be clear, I’m not sitting around wondering what could have been. I’m not wishing I’d said different things or reacted differently. I don’t pine.  I don’t want any of my back. Things worked out the way they did because that’s the way they were supposed to work out. I made mistakes (usually by picking the wrong guys in the first place).  I’m trying to learn from them so that I don’t make the same ones over and over.
I’ve done a few things in my life I’m ashamed of (and I’m probably not going to write about any of them here, at least not yet, this blogging thing is just way too new to me).  But I’m not ashamed about the mistakes I’ve made while searching for .  Sure, I’ve made a fool of myself a few times.  I’ve been hurt and I guess I’ve hurt others, too.  But my intentions have been pure and I’ve always been as honest as I can be about what I want and what I’m feeling.  
When it all gets put down on paper, I know I come off as the queen of . That’s cool. I never claimed to know anything more than the average person about dating. I’ve never claimed to be an (How do people get to be experts anyway?  I’ve read on some blogs where people claim to be dating and relationship experts and I’ve always wondered how that title gets bestowed on them).  I’m just a 38 year old single girl who dates a lot.  

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9 to “Dysfunction Junction”

  1. cjw666 says:

    I have a feeling (and I hope I’m wrong) that somewhere inside you, you perhaps believe that you can analyse dating sufficiently to be able to identify “Mr. Right” by numbers, so to speak. Maybe you’re not doing that, or maybe you actually will be able to do that (whether it’s what you’re consciously doing or not), but perhaps I could just point out that philosophers, poets, psychiatrists and many more have been trying to analyse love for several thousand years and don’t seem to have got very far.

    Good luck to you though and I do love your blog. :)

  2. Aphro-ME-siac says:

    Like what you’re creating here! Will be back:)

  3. SINgleGIRL says:

    Thanks as always for your thoughtful comment. No, I don’t think I can the analyze the data and answer the mysteries of love. I do think I can learn from the past. My past. I think it’s one of the gifts we all have, the ability to review our past and reflect upon it and try to live a better future. I don’t want to DWELL (though I can imagine for my readers it might seem as though I am dwelling on some issues). I just believe it’s easier to move on once you’ve faced your past and learned from it.

    Welcome. I love your site, too. I look forward to your future comments/feedback.

  4. Date Girl says:

    I agree with you so much-you do learn from your mistakes when it comes to dating. I think that’s the whole point of dating. You go out there, and you figure out what works and what doesn’t. Far better to learn from your mistakes than to beat yourself up over them. I’ve made a lot of mistakes as well, but if I hadn’t made them, I honestly don’t think I’d be as happy as I am today.

  5. bobbyboy says:

    “I know I come off as the queen of dating dysfunction.”

    Actually, I think you come off as a real person viewing dating in a real way. As far as experts, I’ve wondered the same thing too. It’s actually one of my future blog posts.

    I think it’s just about being real :)

  6. SINgleGIRL says:

    -Thanks date girl. And good luck.

    -bobbyboy, I think you and I have as much right to the label ‘relationship experts’ as anyone else.

  7. Miss Heather Leigh says:

    It’s always good to learn from your mistakes. I myself have made the same one a number of times before I learned, but I guess everyone emerges and grows in their own time. Loving your blog. :)

  8. Anonymous says:

    Pleased to meet you!
    I’m a 40-ish..close to 50-ish, single guy and I haven’t had a date in years!

    [add: laughter here]


  9. SINgleGIRL says:

    -Miss Heather Leigh,
    Thanks so much for the positive comments. I’m looking forward to hearing more from you in the future.
    -Thank you, too, Anonymous (Will)