Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

A Post About Break-Ups (Not Really)

Zandria, over at Blogher, wrote a great post yesterday called, “Am I Writing A Post About Break-Ups? Really?”. I read the post quickly yesterday and enjoyed it. I loved her fresh, “you loved and lost and now it’s time to move on – no drama” tone. It’s the attitude I strive to have (and know that sometimes I fail miserably).

I returned to the post today to read the comments and noticed one of the articles that she provided a link for. I usually don’t bother reading the yahoo personals articles, especially the ones called Dating 101, but I couldn’t help myself as this one was about why “guys dumped women they dig”. Anyway, I liked the article.

The first part talks about how for guys it really is a lot about timing. “Single women get serious when they meet the right man. Single men get serious with whomever we happen to be dating when we’re finally to settle down.” Now I know this is a generalization and that all generalizations are bad and dangerous in their own way. However, I also think there’s something to it. And I guess I’ve suspected it for a while. It’s why I’m so cautious with guys right now. I’m looking for someone who’s finally ready to settle to down, because that’s what I want to do, too. I don’t think I can handle another guy telling me how much I mean to him but that he’s not ready.

My date tonight with Bachelor #2 got rescheduled, again. This time it was my fault. Now we’re planning to meet W night. I’ve got another tentative first date tomorrow night and a few other guys in the hopper still. Oh, and it looks like I’ll be seeing the TALL man again on Friday night.

I’ll keep you posted.

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3 to “A Post About Break-Ups (Not Really)”


  1. lisaq says:

    It’s an interesting theory and you’re probably right. There is probably something to it. Have fun on your dates this week. Looking forward to the details!

  2. zandria says:

    I’m glad my post inspired you to write one of your own!

    I thought that article was interesting as well. I don’t like generalizations too much, but I’ve read in a number of places (and heard from people) that men really DO settle down when they’re ready, and not just because they’ve met the “right” person. Sounds pretty crazy, but I guess there’s truth to it.

  3. bobbyboy says:

    Ok, my take from reading that article and your response Singlegirl.

    “Single women get serious when they meet the right man. Single men get serious with whomever we happen to be dating when we’re finally ready to settle down.”

    Generalizations aside, I don’t really find anything wrong with this statement on it’s own. My interpretation is this:

    When the man is right, the woman is ready. When the time is right, the man is ready.

    I do believe that when the person is right, then it’s the right time. So, I guess I agree with the woman perspective. However, the time has to be right somewhat as well, not the main importance, but a part of it.

    It does seem to me that if a man feels the time is right instead of the right woman, the relationship may be doomed.

    Thanks for sharing this :)