So last night I got a call from this guy I’ve been flirting with via email. We first met online a few weeks ago and I have to admit that, despite myself, I was developing a little crush on him. He’s not the most attractive man I’ve met this year (or even this month) and he has his share of baggage, but there’s something about him that I find kind of hot.
He knows that I’ve been caught up with stuff (I canceled a planned date) and suggested we talk on the phone.
Now, I usually skip the phone thing altogether. I realize this puts me in the minority of online daters. The usual path is – meet onsite, exchange some messages, email a bit offsite and/or chat on the phone and THEN if you’re both keen set a date to meet. I happen to think there’s not a lot to be learned from a phone call with a virtual stranger. Some people come off great on the phone, some don’t. Some people jabber when they’re nervous and the lack of human contact makes it worse. I personally hate talking on the phone as a rule, with anyone. I like to see a person’s facial expressions, etc.
And I guess I’m not one of those overly cautious, paranoid types who’s afraid to meet some guy I met online for a drink. It’s just a drink in a public place. It’s an hour of my life, maybe less. What’s the worse that can happen? OK, I know the worse that can happen. But no guts, no glory.
So the guy, I’ll call him The Writer, as that’s what he is, called me last night. Talk about a let down. It was the dullest, least scintillating conversation I’ve had with a man in years. I made a lame excuse to get off the phone when I couldn’t take another second of it.
Later, after we talked, I realized that I was seriously disappointed that our call went poorly. I’d been looking forward to meeting this guy. Really looking forward to it. More than I like to let myself do. Normally I try to go into first dates with no expectations, that way I can’t be disappointed. But there I was last night, disappointed over a lousy phone call.
Anyway, I’ve decided to give The Writer another chance if he wants to give me one. Like I said earlier, I don’t think phone calls are good indicators of much. This one was really bad. That doesn’t have to mean anything. Other than I got my hopes up and had them dashed over some guy I haven’t even met yet. That can’t be a good sign.
Tags: Baggage, disappointed, Online dating, phone