Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Dating in the Slow Lane Redux (TMI warning for friends)

I’ve received some great comments re my post, “Dating in the Slow Lane” (and if I ever get the time and patience I will learn to show those comments on my blog’s main page, like everyone else). The conversation has been focused around whether or not I should’ve taken the lead with necking guy. If I had, goes the thinking, I probably would’ve gotten laid, at the very least.

The thing is, and this is way for the few of my friends who read this blog in a non-anonymous way, that wouldn’t have worked for me.  There was a great New Yorker cartoon earlier this year with a woman saying to a man, “If I tell you what I want I won’t want it anymore.”  That’s the way it is with me and guys.  I need my guys to take the reins.
Not just with sex, but with everything. I was liking him a lot less already because he had dithered for days over where we were going to eat for dinner. He couldn’t decide (he couldn’t pick a restaurant, how hard is that?). Indecisiveness, it’s such a turn off.
I like my guys to be strong and brave enough to communicate their desires to me (sexual and otherwise) and be willing to hear me say, “I’m not ready” or maybe even “NO“. If he’s the guy for me then he’ll be cool with that, not be mortally wounded, and just try again (unless it was no, he’ll just have to try for something else, then) another time.
So with necking guy, I could’ve said (and believe me, I thought of it), “would you like to go into my bedroom, it’s more comfortable in there”, after we’d been fooling around on the sofa for a while.  But then I would’ve been miserable.  I might’ve gotten laid, but it would’ve been lousy. And yeah, there is such a thing as .  Really, there is.  Trust me.

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