I don’t believe in any rules when it comes to dating or relationships. I think everyone has to figure out what works for them. However, I have come to believe that there is a danger in having sex with a guy too soon (though I’m still not sure what too soon is).
I used to believe that there was no point in waiting, that once I decided I liked a guy I should go for it because there really is nothing worse than liking a guy a lot and then realizing that he’s bad in bed. If someone was truly a horrible fuck then I could just stop seeing him before I got emotionally attached (I like my guys pretrained. I don’t want to have to teach them what to do. Ick.).
My opinion on this has changed. There is a danger, a pretty big danger, of sleeping with some guy on the second date (my average for many years for guys I thought I liked a lot) and having great sex and then finding out on the 3rd, 4th or 5th date that he isn’t as great a guy as you thought he was. But if you’re already having amazing sex, well… If I’m already having amazing sex with a guy then I’m pretty damn likely to overlook the ugly facts that come out after that. So he’s a little rude to waitstaff and doormen; So he lied about how long he’s been separated; So he has a stalker ex-girlfriend and an ex-wife with a restraining order. So what? All can be forgiven if the sex is good enough.
I just haven’t figured out how long is long enough to wait. A girl’s got needs, y’know.
On a totally separate note, I have another first date tonight and a second date later in the week (my late afternoon coffee date from a few days ago was actually pretty cool). More on those another time.
Tags: bad sex, bed, coffee, coffee date, Dating update, great sex, rules