Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Ghosts Around Every Corner

Recently, I started a new job and it’s landed me in a part of town that I don’t usually set foot in. I’m way over on the east side of midtown, near the UN, which is a pleasant enough place to work. On my first day I decided to have lunch outside in Dag Hammarskjöld Plaza and as I walked there I had a moment of panic, of – oh shit, I used to date someone who works over here – fear. We haven’t seen each other or communicated in years and for all I know he’s left town, left the country, died. But I was overwhelmed, at least momentarily, with anxiety because the very last thing I need in my life is to bump into HIM. Things ended so poorly between us and, well, he’s such an . A lying, cheating .

I knew the chances of us bumping into each other were slim, but just thinking of it and how much I wouldn’t want to see him ruined my lunch. Instead of enjoying the fresh air and the sunshine, I sat there wrestling with my ghosts. And I haven’t been back to the plaza since.

The ghosts of New York – every girls got ‘em. They suck. There are restaurants, bars and entire neighborhoods that I’ve been avoiding for years, not because I think I’ll actually bump into some ex or another, but because the memories are just too painful to face on any given day.

Sometimes I wonder if men think about shit like this. If they stop going to restaurants because they went there all the time with a girlfriend and after the relationship ended they found it too painful to eat there anymore. I want to believe that they do. That they feel the ghosts of relationships past. That they care that much.


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1 to “Ghosts Around Every Corner”


  1. lpham12 says:

    i just realized that my comments weren’t posting so i gotta go back …

    anyway, i was once dumped, on my 29th birthday, at a great egyptian restaurant. he tried to make it like it was a “mutual” thing. i will give him that he is a kind and decent person and he was right to end the relationship, but due to his kind nature, this act was particularly cruel and could’ve waited at least a day. to this day, everytime i drive by that restaurant, which has changed owners and is now a pizza joint, i think of that night. i recall exactly what i wore and exactly what we ate.

    i’m sure there are guys who have the same mentality and i’m sure they’re all nice but i think if i were to ever meet them and we got to talking, i’d eventually want to kick them in the crotch if they got all emo and sensitive.